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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time, When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs, Chuck Norris has a Doberman and a Pitbull. They are there to protect people from Chuck Norris. sure he can divide by zero, but chuck norris can also divide by infinity.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris' bike has no wheels. This is the bike he rode around the world with. 10 times, Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks, What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe, Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean, Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding, Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis, Chuck Norris is awake 25hrs a day.

When Chuck Norris plays Super Mario Bros., Princess Peach is in the first castle.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head, Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.